Shop Specials: Rough and Ready Kukri Bellum, Zack Axes on Sale
We’ve been kicking some ass in the shop these days, which has put us in an unprecedented position—we’re overstocked. Our big black box of ultimate tightness, where we keep all our finished weapons, is chock full. We’re hoping you can help us out and buy something.
First, we have a pair of new blades that we created as an experiment. We took our Para Bellum design and hammered in a kukri-esque curve, then left them with the rough finish of our Rough and Ready Urban Bone Machete. The result is a pretty vicious, crunchy blade that we’ve dubbed the Rough and Ready Kukri Bellum (pictured above). We’ve made two, and we’ll make more if ya’ll like them. The RnR Kukri Bellums sell for $160. Drop us a note if you’re interested in one of the first two.
Next up, we have Zack Axes. A pile of them. We’d like to find them a home. So we’re having our first sale—Zack Axes are marked down to $175 while our stock lasts.
And we have a new t-shirt design—Sweet Zombie Lovin’. You know you want some. Just make sure your tool is triple sheathed. We’re now offering FREE SHIPPING on all our t-shirts within the US.
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Blade Prices Slashed
August was a big month for Zombie Tools. We made progress on several new weapon designs, we started overhauling our website, we found new suppliers for our materials, we improved our blademaking processes, and we got a much firmer hold on the financial side of the business. We even made a fucking spreadsheet. We celebrated with an epic Saturday night fight session that left us with a broken rib, a dislocated thumb, and fresh puke on the new office carpet.
You probably couldn’t give a shit about all this. Which is fair enough. But there is an upside for you. In crawling through the filthy bowels of our business, we figured out that we can sell several of our weapons cheaper.
Take the Reaper, for example, modeled here by ZT Bitch Killer of the Month, Sam. We’ve had the Reaper listed for $550, which was pretty steep. With new materials and processes, we’ve figured out that we can sell the Reaper for $375.
Here are the other markdowns:
HARVESTER: Was $450, now $425.
URBAN BONE MACHETE, MARK I: Was $275, now $230.
URBAN BONE MACHETE, MARK III: Was $336, now $290.
d’CAPITAN: Was $330, now $310.
PHALANX: this brand new design will come in at $300.
AND we’re now offering FREE SHIPPING on our t-shirts.
We’ll continue to improve our processes and seek out better deals on materials so that we can sell our handcrafted blades at as low a price as makes sense. Because we really do want to arm the world, feed our families, and have a couple cold ones at the end of the day.
May the tightness abound.
Posted by Zombie Tools on Aug 26 2010 |
5 comments
In the Pipeline: the Phalanx, the Squid Ax, and Spike
You asked for it, you got it. Here’s an update on what we’ve got in the new weapon pipeline.
First up, the Phalanx. The Phalanx started out as the next evolution of our Urban Bone Machete line. We called it the Mark IV. But as the design evolved, the blade lengthened and the edge profile changed, and we realized that we no longer had anything that you could reasonably call a “machete.” What we had was a short sword.
And a damn fine short sword she is. Everyone who’s touched it remarks on its balance, maintained in spite of its length and heft, and the handle is one of our best yet for comfort and grip. She’ll take a little strength and skill to wield, but in the right hands, she’s a killer. The Phalanx sells for $299 and will go on sale at the end of the week. We’ve only finished two so far, so contact us if you’re interested in having one of the first. First email, first serve.
We’re also working on a two-handed version of the Phalanx. A little longer, with a few extra inches on the handle. We’ll call it the Phalanx Deuce. And we can’t wait to cut with her.
(Click images for larger view.)
Next, we have a few experiments with smaller deadly toys. We have always loved throwing spikes. Back in the day, every Saturday afternoon swordfighting session almost always included throwing some spikes (and eliminated Joey’s security deposit on his apartment). We haven’t done it in a while, and we miss it, so we decided to make our own ZT style. Thus, Spike was born.
True to the ZT M.O., Spike is a beefy chunk of metal, 8-inches long, made from the same 5160 spring steel we use to make blades. And its really easy to throw—easier that the smaller, more rounded spikes we used to throw, and a good toss can bury Spike deep into a door. But better yet, we discovered that you can thread paracord through the hole at the ass-end and Spike suddenly transforms into a wicked rope dart. We’ve been practicing over the past few days and have gotten pretty good at swinging Spike around and sticking it, then pulling the rope and retrieving with something resembling grace. Loads of fun. Once Chris gets his video editing shit together, we’ll shoot some video and show you.
Spike will not be available for a few weeks, as we may be tweaking the design just a hair.
Finally, we have one of the more unique pieces of metal to come out of ZT Labs. We call it the Squid Ax. We’re not exactly sure what the Squid Ax is about, but we like it. We’re going to change the blade profile to add a slightly nastier tip and a slightly longer blade. And we’re changing the handle a bit so it fits more comfortably in our big mitts. She may not kill a bitch, but the Squid Ax would be a nasty addition to any close-quarters encounter.
Beyond that, we have a design for a larger weapon that’s still a sketch in Max’s notebook. But we’re all excited about it, especially Max, and when Max is excited, things happen fast. Stay tuned—we’ll probably have something to talk about in a couple weeks.
Keep it tight.
Posted by Zombie Tools on Aug 24 2010 |
18 comments
The Ultimate Apocalyptic Armor - Peruvian Style
From the Department of We Like Awesome Things:
We’ve talked a lot about the ultimate apocalyptic combat armor. We’ve even thought about creating it. But there’s no need—it exists. You just have to be a member of Peru’s riot police force to get it.
Look at this shit. There’s no way Zak’s going to sneak an infected tooth through on these guys. And with the face shield down, they’re nicely protected from infection by an arcing stream of spouting blood. Not to mention the muy grande protection provided for one’s junk. Zak might just fall over and die of penis envy.
Posted by Zombie Tools on Aug 21 2010 |
3 comments
An Epic Month For Zombie Tools
The ZT crew has been reunited. Chris is back from studying post-apocalyptic living conditions in Nepal, Max is back from living in urban douchebag conditions in Seattle, and Joey has quit the day job to go full time at ZT. Our tightness capacity has increased 10-fold and it feels like the beginning of a new phase for us. Call it Zombie Tools 2.0.
So, what’s coming at you? New weapon designs, of course—we’ve got 3 prototypes in the works. We’re researching new materials, techniques, and production processes. We’ve got a couple new t-shirts coming. We’re overhauling the website. And we’re hatching early plans for an Event here in Montana that’s got us so excited we puke up a little bile every time we think about it. Basically, we’re cranking this bitch up to dick speed and seeing how high she’ll fly.
So keep in touch. We’ll be posting more here, and we also stay pretty active on our Facebook page.
Click through for photos from our month of epicness.
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Latest News
Ok, it’s been a while since my last post. Many things have come to pass. For starters, our rock n’ roll lifestyle got us ejected from our first shop in February, that was fun. It took quite some time to move, but, the new shop is tight.
Chris is still in Nepal. Max has spent most of this year in Seattle seeking fame, fortune, adventure or just something that isn’t Missoula. That leaves me in the shop busting ass to fill orders and get ready for MisCon. To Max’s credit, he still shows up at least once a month to help out for a few days. Even then, what was once a four week maximum wait for a blade has become a minimum. Orders have been consistent enough for me to start full time shop work soon though. Which should lower the wait time considerably.
I have a shit ton more posts planned. There is the better late than never review of Roger Ma’s newish book The Zombie Combat Manual, a mini “Made in Montana” documentary about ZT filmed by some local college folks, and a couple more pics like the one up above. Which is a grand tale of some neighbors of the old shop donating the remains of an elk carcass for us to cut to shit last fall. There was some video, but while we were sober enough to cut an elk carcass to bits, we weren’t quite able to use a focus wheel. It was bad. Trust me.
I believe that is my “Holy shit! This bitch just cut through three big mother fucking elk ribs” look.
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A cold day for PayPal and rememberances of Swordball
It’s winter in Montana again. Days like today make me wish for the ridiculously hot days of summer and Swordball. There is just something about filling up bottles of ice cold water to serve as high speed projectiles for your sword buddies to cut out of the air on a hot day.
It’s not hot though. It’s cold. Real cold. The kind of cold that makes us cranky and look for reasons to start up the forge. Cranky enough to decide we don’t want to use Paypal any longer. So, we put on our big boy pants and obtained a real live merchant account and Authorize.net payment gateway. Which is a good thing. A really fucking good thing for everyone. The real-time shipping calculations and choice of shipping agents alone make this a worthwhile journey. With the push of a button you can compare shipping costs for all options at the same time! Ok… maybe everyone won’t be as excited as I but there are many more options available than there were before. We will even have Zombie Tools Gift Certificates available soon. For those that liked the Paypal requests, we can still do e-mail invoicing and get the same things done.
As of now the site has been converted to the new gateway and shopping cart. Please excuse the drab gray Add to Cart buttons. They work and we will be making the whole thing tighter a little bit at a time. Let us know if you have any problems using the new system.
Posted by Joey on Dec 7 2009 |
19 comments
The Zombie Tools version of the Naginata
At four feet long and six pounds this girl will cleave through even the most headstrong zombie.
Full tang 1/4” 5160 steel and T6 aluminum handle slabs make this durable blade on of the most ferocious weapons in the ZT armory.
The first two of these have already been sold but while we wait for more steel we need a name for this beast.
If we pick your name we will send you a free T-shirt and and at least 700 pounds of glory.
We should have some of these in stock before x-mas as well as more Harvesters, so if you would like to be put on the list email us.
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