Urban Bone Machete
In the end, the Zombie Tools Urban Bone Machete may be your only friend.
At 23” and 2lbs, she’s short enough to wield in tight quarters and light enough to strap to your bug-out bag, yet her extra tip weight lends enough momentum to easily cleave a spinal column. Or 50.
The Urban Bone Machete blade is cut from 5160 spring steel, the handle is grinder-sculpted from T6 aluminum, and the entire pin-joined unit is etched in acid, just for kicks. The blade is heat-treated for hardness, tempered for flexibility, and sharpened like there’s no tomorrow.
Total Length 23in (.58m) Blade/Handle Length 17in/6in (.43m/.15m) Weight 2lbs (.9k) Price $229.95 USD
Rough and Ready Bone Machete
Times are tough. But they will get tougher.
In response to the economic clusterfuck and dancing in time to the Apocalyptic beat, Zombie Tools introduces the Rough and Ready Bone Machete, the economy model of our popular Urban Bone Machete line. We’ve cut down on the time-consuming steps that make our blades pretty in order to make a blade that’s more affordable yet no less savagely brutal.
The Rough and Ready is cut from 5160 spring steel, forged into shape, hammer-textured, heat-treated and sharpened. With less grinding on the blade, the Rough and Ready is a bit heavier than our other models, which makes her capable of some serious cleavage. The blunt force trauma alone would set Zack on his ass. The sharpened edge would seal his deal.
The Rough and Ready comes with a black Kydex sheath.
Total Length 23in (.58m) Blade/Handle Length 17in/6in (.43m/.15m) Weight 2.25lbs (1.02kg) Price $149.95US
Urban Bone Machete, Mark III
The journey to perfection for the Urban Bone Machete is one huge step closer with the addition of the Mark III. Just hold this girl and you can hear her whisper a bloody longing for carnage. The new handle design, also seen in the Zack Ax, will protect your digits if you feel the need to brutally punch a bitch’s* skull to a slimy pulp. A slightly longer blade combined with a curved tip make for an unprecedented level of cutting power.
The Urban Bone Machete Mark III is a full-tang blade of 5160 spring steel with a hand-sculpted T6 aluminum handle. Comes with black Kydex sheath.
(* and by ‘bitch’, we mean ‘zombie’.)
Total Length 25in (.64m) Blade/Handle Length 18.5in/6.5in (.47m/.17m) Weight 2.5lbs (1.13kg) Price $289.95US
The Para Bellum
This girl is the fastest and lightest ZT blade yet. Designed to be strapped to the thigh, it is a blade that can be worn at all times and still be comfortable. A recent visitor to the shop nailed it when he said it was long enough to keep bitches* at a distance and light enough to never slow you down. 18 inches overall, 12 inches of blade length and sharp enough to shave your mom. Deadly when used in pairs or as an effective offhand blade to back up a sidearm, the Para Bellum is ideal.
Total Length 18 in (.46m) Blade/Handle Length 12in/6in (.30m/.15m) Weight 1.6lbs(.7kg) Price $199.95US for a single blade - $369.95 for two blades w/ opposed sheaths
The Zack Ax
Whether in a backalley of a burnt-out burb or the backwaters of BFE, the ZT Zack Ax will be a handy little girl to have by your side. With her curved forward edge and a hefty blade, she’s perfect little hand ax for chopping wood for the fire and, of course, separating Zack’s vertebra should you be forced into a close quarters confrontation. The handle design adds protection for the hand and is ergonomically designed to help you keep a grip on your shit when it all hits the fan.
Like all our Tools, the Zack Ax is a full-tang blade of 5160 spring steel, hardened, tempered, and sharpened. The handle is sculpted from T6 aluminum. The Zack Ax comes with a black Kydex sheath.
Total Length 14.5in (.36m) Blade/Handle Length 8.5in/6in (.22m/.15m) Weight 1.75lbs (.79kg) Price $199.95US
d’Capitan
Leadership. It takes strength of character, courage of convictions, and a weapon more badass than all the other douche bags willing to follow you. For the discerning leader of a zombie-slaying squad, ZT introduces d’Capitan. Modeled after the ancient falcata, d’Capitan is designed to deliver a ferocious flesh-rending over-hand hack while still maintaining some of the speed and versatility of a sword. A totally new handle design provides good hand protection and comfort for those long days of bitch* dispatching.
d’Capitan is a full-tang blade of 5160 spring steel with a hand-sculpted T6 aluminum handle. Comes with black Kydex sheath.
(* and by ‘bitch’, we mean ‘zombie’.)
Total Length 25in (.64m) Blade/Handle Length 18.5in/6.5in (.47m/.17m) Weight 2.25lbs (1kg) Price $309.95US
The Reaper
What can we say, this four foot tool is truly an instrument of death. Cut from 3.5” 5160 steel, this girl barely notices when you hit bone. Complete with the textured T6 aluminum slab grip this 6 lb piece of potential violence makes one ooze badassery just holding it.
This blade does NOT come with any sort of sheath/blade covering.
Total Length 46 in (1.1684m) Blade/Handle Length 16in/30in (.0.41m/0.76m) Weight 6lbs(2.72kg) Price $374.95US
The Harvester
The 31” blade of this beast will clear a field of zombies in record time. Made with 5160 spring steel and an all steel cut out handle she is the perfect blade for the professional zombie killer.Like a giant razor blade being scraped across the face of the earth come time for the Apocalypse your fields will be clear, though we don’t recommend zombie flesh as fertilizer.
All blades come with a black kydex sheath.
Total Length 46 in (1.1684m) Blade/Handle Length 31in/15in (.79m/.38m) Weight 4lbs(1.82kg) Price $424.95US
Zombie Tools are hand-crafted artisan objects. Every piece is unique, and colors, designs and dimensions will vary slightly. A $12.00 handling fee has been added to blades to pay for shipping insurance.
You must be 18 or older to buy a blade. By ordering a blade, you are affirming under penalty of perjury that you are at least 18 years old and can provide photo identification upon request.
