ZT Spike
It may take some skill to kill a bitch* with the new ZT Spike, but it’s an easy way to kill an afternoon. A set of these hefty 8-inch chunks of steel, a good target, your band of brethren, and a bunch of beer** are a much more effective and entertaining way to prepare for the apocalypse than getting stoned and playing video games, again.
But the ZT Spike is more than just a throwing weapon with the kind of nut busting heft you’ve come to expect from the psychopaths at ZT Labs. Throw 15 feet of knotted paracord through the ass-end hole of the Spike and you’ve got a rope dart. It’s also a tent spike, a meat spit, a field manicuring tool, an emergency tracheotomizer, and, until the apocalypse comes, it can sit on your desk and open THE FUCK out of your postal correspondence and provide a lovely welcoming gift to any unwanted intruders in your abode.
(* and by ‘bitch’ we mean ‘zombie’.)
(** and by ‘beer’ we mean PBR. Unless Hamm’s is on sale.)
Length 8in (.20m) Weight .33lbs(.15kg) Price $24.95US for one, $64.95US for three
The Squid Ax
The origins of the Squid Ax are unclear, although scholars believe it likely that the Squid bubbled up from the ocean depths, the nocturnal emissions of the Kraken.
The intentions of the Squid Ax are clearer: when grasped in the hand, the Squid Ax transforms your naked monkey mitt into a fist full of fuck-yeah.
True, the Squid Ax would not be the ideal first choice for taking on Zak, but those who are only prepared for Zak come Z-Day are likely to be in for many unwelcome surprises: neo-Nazi cannibals, for instance, or a later-day form of Mormon (the largest and best prepared apocalyptic organization on the planet) who may no longer meekly accept a door slammed in his face. Whomever be the foe, the Squid Ax will certainly improve your chances in any close-quarters fisticuffs, in addition to performing more prosaic tasks like skinning an animal, cutting rope, or divvying up 5 pound blocks of scavenged government cheese.
The Squid is cut from 1/4-inch 5160 spring steel and sports a 4-inch ax-edge blade that is hardened and tempered like all ZT steel. A paracord wrap pads the hand for both a forward and a reverse hold on the 3.25 inch grip, which is a perfect size for the average large man hands. Comes with black Kydex blade cover.
Total Length 7.25 in (0.18m) Blade/Handle Length 4in/3.25in (.1m/.08m) Steel Width .25in Weight 0.6lbs(.27kg)
Urban Bone Machete
In the end, the Zombie Tools Urban Bone Machete may be your only friend.
At 23” and 2lbs, she’s short enough to wield in tight quarters and light enough to strap to your bug-out bag, yet her extra tip weight lends enough momentum to easily cleave a spinal column. Or 50.
The Urban Bone Machete blade is cut from 5160 spring steel, the handle is grinder-sculpted from T6 aluminum, and the entire pin-joined unit is etched in acid, just for kicks. The blade is heat-treated for hardness, tempered for flexibility, and sharpened like there’s no tomorrow.
Total Length 23in (.58m) Blade/Handle Length 17in/6in (.43m/.15m) Weight 2lbs (.9k)
Rough and Ready Bone Machete
Times are tough. But they will get tougher.
In response to the economic clusterfuck and dancing in time to the Apocalyptic beat, Zombie Tools introduces the Rough and Ready Bone Machete, the economy model of our popular Urban Bone Machete line. We’ve cut down on the time-consuming steps that make our blades pretty in order to make a blade that’s more affordable yet no less savagely brutal.
The Rough and Ready is cut from 5160 spring steel, forged into shape, hammer-textured, heat-treated and sharpened. With less grinding on the blade, the Rough and Ready is a bit heavier than our other models, which makes her capable of some serious cleavage. The blunt force trauma alone would set Zack on his ass. The sharpened edge would seal his deal.
The Rough and Ready comes with a black Kydex sheath.
Total Length 23in (.58m) Blade/Handle Length 17in/6in (.43m/.15m) Weight 2.25lbs (1.02kg)
Urban Bone Machete, Mark III
The journey to perfection for the Urban Bone Machete is one huge step closer with the addition of the Mark III. Just hold this girl and you can hear her whisper a bloody longing for carnage. The handle will protect your digits if you feel the need to brutally punch a bitch’s* skull to a slimy pulp. A slightly longer blade combined with a curved tip make for an unprecedented level of cutting power.
The Urban Bone Machete Mark III is a full-tang blade of 5160 spring steel with a hand-sculpted T6 aluminum handle. Comes with black Kydex sheath.
(* and by ‘bitch’, we mean ‘zombie’.)
Total Length 25in (.64m) Blade/Handle Length 18.5in/6.5in (.47m/.17m) Weight 2.5lbs (1.13kg)
The Para Bellum
This girl is the fastest and lightest ZT blade yet. Designed to be strapped to the thigh, it is a blade that can be worn at all times and still be comfortable. A recent visitor to the shop nailed it when he said it was long enough to keep bitches* at a distance and light enough to never slow you down. 18 inches overall, 12 inches of blade length and sharp enough to shave your mom. Deadly when used in pairs or as an effective offhand blade to back up a sidearm, the Para Bellum is ideal.
Total Length 18 in (.46m) Blade/Handle Length 12in/6in (.30m/.15m) Weight 1.6lbs(.7kg) Price $199.95US for a single blade - $369.95 for two blades w/ opposed sheaths
The Zack Ax
Whether in a backalley of a burnt-out burb or the backwaters of BFE, the ZT Zack Ax will be a handy little girl to have by your side. With her curved forward edge and a hefty blade, she’s perfect little hand ax for chopping wood for the fire and, of course, separating Zack’s vertebra should you be forced into a close quarters confrontation. The handle design adds protection for the hand and is ergonomically designed to help you keep a grip on your shit when it all hits the fan.
Like all our Tools, the Zack Ax is a full-tang blade of 5160 spring steel, hardened, tempered, and sharpened. The handle is sculpted from T6 aluminum. The Zack Ax comes with a black Kydex sheath.
Total Length 14.5in (.36m) Blade/Handle Length 8.5in/6in (.22m/.15m) Weight 1.75lbs (.79kg) Price $199.95
The Harvester
The 31” blade of this beast will clear a field of zombies in record time. Made with 5160 spring steel and an all steel cut out handle she is the perfect blade for the professional zombie killer.Like a giant razor blade being scraped across the face of the earth come time for the Apocalypse your fields will be clear, though we don’t recommend zombie flesh as fertilizer.
All blades come with a black kydex sheath.
Total Length 46 in (1.1684m) Blade/Handle Length 31in/15in (.79m/.38m) Steel Width .25in
Weight 4lbs(1.82kg)
Two-Handed Apocalax
For fighting larger-scale zombie outbreaks in the open field, there is no finer tool than the Zombie Tools Two-handed Apocalax. The extra double-fisted heft of this girl gives her devastating striking power, while a carefully tapered blade reduces tip weight for a speedy return—just the action you need for dispatching a horde of undead bitches* under pressing time constraints. Like all Zombie Tools blades, the Apocalax is cut from 5160 spring steel, hardened, tempered, and expertly sharpened. The 14-inch handle is hand-sculpted from T6 aluminum and lightly textured in a ferric chloride acid bath for a textured grip and bonus style points. Why merely survive the Apocalypse when you can thrive?
(* and by ‘bitch’, we mean ‘zombie’.)
Total Length 39in (.99m) Blade/Handle Length 25in/14in (.64m/.35m) Weight 3.75lbs (1.7k)
Urban Bone Machete, Mark II
We’ve taken our popular Urban Bone Machete design and hammered in a sweet arc to produce the Urban Bone Machete Mark II. The sinister curve produces a tip heavy blade perfect for overhand hacking, and our improved handle design assures a firm grip while dislodging the pointed tip from Zack’s greasy cranial cavity.
Like all Zombie Tools, the Urban Bone Machete Mark II is a full-tang blade sculpted from 5160 spring steel, hardened, tempered, and sharp as hell. Comes with a black Kydex sheath with belt loop.
Total Length 25in (.64m) Blade/Handle Length 18in/7in (.46m/.18m) Weight 2.25lbs (1kg)
You must be 18 or older to buy a blade. By ordering a blade, you are affirming under penalty of perjury that you are at least 18 years old and can provide photo identification upon request.
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Shop Specials: Hammer Finished Apokatana and Deuce, Modified D’Capitan
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